by: Sumayyah bint Joan
The biggest right over mankind is that of Almighty Allah. Emaan (Faith) in and obedience to Him are our first and foremost duties. After these are the responsibilities of domestic life and fulfillment of these responsibilities by trying to correct and construct the domestic life, is a social need as well as a religious duty.
Parents deserve our highest esteem. They are entitled to the foremost rights. Allah, has decreed, that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life. Say not to them a word of contempt nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor and out of kindness lower to them the wing of
humility and say,
“My Lord bestow on both of them Your Mercy as they cherished me in my childhood.”
[Quran : 17:23-24]
From the above verses, and many others in the Qur’an, we can conclude the following: The rights of parents in Islam are next to the rights of Allah. The Qur’an repeatedly orders us to behave in the most pleasant and submissive way our parents.
As parents age, they tend to become more irritable and short-tempered, therefore, the children must respond to these changes with patience and tolerance. Parents deserve our respect at all times, but especially when they become old, and are at their most difficult. It is now, when they are most nagging and critical, that we should be all the more submissive and forgiving.
Children must adopt attitudes of humbleness, politeness and obedience toward their parents.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, was asked, “What deed is most loved by Allah?” He mentioned the prayer on its time, followed by kindness to the father, and then Jihad in the path of Allah. (Al-Bukhaari)
Abdullah ibn Amr narrated that the Prophet, peace be upon him: “The pleasure of Allah lies in the pleasure of the father and the displeasure of Allah lies in the displeasure of the father.” (At-Tirmithi)
No true Muslim can attain Allah’s pleasure without first attaining the pleasure of his parents. Those who please their parents cannot be saved from Allah’s punishment. Because of this, Allah in His Mercy, has instructed the Muslims, through the Qur’an and the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him) in the best of ways to attain His Pleasure, through pleasing their parents.
The greatest obligation on a Muslim after servitude to Allah in Ihsan, or kindness toward one’s parents. Allah says: “And we have enjoined on man being kind and dutiful to his parents, with hardship his mother bear him, and with hardship did his mother bear him, and with hardship did she bring him forth”[Quran : 46:15]
And says:
“And remember We took a covenant from the Children of Israel: ‘You shall worship none but Allah ; and you shall do ihsan to your parents (do good to your parents)’.” [Quran:2:83]
Ihsan to the parents means bringing every possible good to them and preventing any possible harm from reaching them. Severing or cutting ties of relationship with them means a son/daughter saying or doing something that would hurt the parents. Some harm that is a small sin with regards to others becomes a great sin with respect to them.
On the other hand, when Allah informed us of the greatest prohibitions, He places cutting ties with the parents right after mentioning, shirk (polytheism): “Say : ‘Come let me convey unto you what Allah has forbidden to you: Do not commit shirk with Him in anything ; and (do not offend against but, rather ) do good unto your parents.[Quran: 6:151]
The Prophet, peace be upon him was asked, “What deed is most is most loved by Allah?” He mentioned the prayer on its time, followed by kindness to the father, and then Jihad in the path of Allah.(Al-Bukhaari)
